The Deep

When I was a little girl I loved taking a deep breath and swimming my way down to the bottom of our pool, especially on a sunny day. The sun’s rainbow rays would dance as they pierced the depths of the water to touch my face eight feet below. Below the water I could actually hold a sunbeam in my hand. What was seemingly invisible above the water became nothing short of magical under it. All it took was my sight set upon the big star in the sky to help me to break the surface for yet another round.

I’ve thought a lot about those depths in the year that has led me into my 49^th. I held my breath as I left a job of twenty years to try something new. Figuring out what the something new would look like was both exciting and scary. But I knew how to hold my breath as I was reminded of just how beautiful the world could be if I just jumped in and looked up.

My something new came a little sooner than I expected, and I have been better for it.

Yet just when my house was adjusting to our new normal, our new normal was abruptly stopped in its tracks by the wrath of a global pandemic.

This virus has been heartbreakingly tragic for so many for months now. It still scares me. There just isn’t enough bubble wrap in the world to protect the ones we love the most.

As for me and mine, we wear masks in public. We wash our hands and use sanitizer. And we stay away from crowds. It’s less about our fear of contracting the virus ourselves, and more about our potential to make someone else sick. We love Papa, Grammy, and Nana that much.

Yet this time of self-isolating has had its own unexpected magical rays that shine from the deep. The daily shuffle that has often stressed this family of nine has ceased. Together we took a collective deep breath. I learned what parts of a new job I could do from home as the kids figured out which room of the house would be their virtual classroom of the day.

We play, we explore, we create, and we share. Our backyard has become a new playground that just may be my favorite of favorite playgrounds.

Even in some of the worst of times, we have all that we need thanks in part to a Daddy who taught his daughter and son-in-law to keep the garden growing and the freezer full.

I said it the day he passed and I say it now….

…he prepared me well.

On this 13^th day of June that marks my 49^th year, I realize that there is still a curious 10-year-old inside who likes to look at life from a little different perspective and often finds understanding shining from the deep.

These days I just have a lot more to say when I come up for air!